My Guiding Light
by falachen
Summary: Something I found in Falachen's computer. Something she wrote about a time in my life. Read how Falachen became such a good friend to me!


**"King" Lauren Aquilina**

 **Yo! Guys, look what I found in Falachen's computer! I never realized that she wrote this, never knew she felt this way. I begged her to allow me to post this and she finally relented (and gave me instructions how to do so).**

 **I'll give the backstory at the end!**

* * *

Hope grows even in the darkest of places. Love shines no matter the trials. Friends may always be closer than one knows.

Featherpaw sat beside the flowing river. Amber eyes stared at the moving water blankly. Tears ran down her silver cheeks. Ears flicked as the words of her "friends" rang in them. Why? Why did they say those things? They knew her backstory. They knew her father had been abusive, knew her mother had just up and left one day. Her amber eyes closed in agony, claws digging into the dirt. It hurt too much! All she wanted was friends who cared about her. All she wanted was to feel safe for once in her short life. Featherpaw thought her friends cared. She thought they would stick with her through thick and thin. Now…now she had no one.

Why did no one care about her?

Her paws moved without a command. The flowing river water swirled around her white socks and silver legs. Soon she was chest deep. The water was cold but it didn't hurt. Slowly the current pushed her downstream. Paws barely paddled. Amber eyes couldn't see the far shore through her tears. Her muscles began to tire. Slowly she began to sink lower in the water. Panic didn't fill her body. Her heart never raced in fear. Both shores were too far for her to reach. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore. She was a burden to her foster parents, another mouth that they couldn't afford to feed. Her mother said she wasn't worth the effort. Her father only saw her as something to torture. Now everyone she had laughed and played with turned their backs on her, mocking her for the emotional wreck she was. Perhaps everyone was right…

Maybe she didn't deserve to live.

The pain in her lungs continued to increase. Now her heart beat harder, attempting to keep her body alive. Featherpaw didn't care. Lower, lower her silver body with white stripes and paws sunk. Tears still streamed from her eyes, floating towards surface. Now no one would worry about her. Now no one would have to care about her. Maybe death would treat her better than life ever had. Maybe now she could have some semblance of peace.

That's when something broke the surface. Featherpaw frowned. Darkness was clouding her vision, making the figure a blur of shadow and light. A white front left paw reached towards her, desperately willing her to reach back. The silver and white she-cat didn't reach. This cat shouldn't care about her, just let her sink and fade away. As if understanding this, the cat kicked harder, pulling closer. Sharp teeth grabbed Featherpaw's scruff. The shadowy bottom started fading away. Rippling light danced around them. A smile touched the silver she-cat mouth. It was so beautiful, so perfect…unlike her. Those amber eyes closed. At least she got to see one last beautiful thing.

Both broke the surface. Gravel crunched as the cat pulled Featherpaw onto the shore. A white paw and a light tan paw pressed into her white chest. An urge raced through Featherpaw that she couldn't ignore. Water gushed from her. Coughing and sputtering, she opened her amber eyes and stared around the open beach in shock. On her left was a light tan she-cat with aqua green eyes. Her white muzzle was creased in a frown of worry. The white fur on her chest and stomach was plastered to her skin, revealing how thin she was. Gently she reached out her white front paw and laid it on Featherpaw's shoulder. That's when anger shot through the apprentice. How dare she! How dare this she-cat interfere! It was her choice. She had wanted it to happen. Why couldn't this she-cat leave well enough alone!?

Shakily rising to her paws, Featherpaw coughed, "Why did you rescue me? Didn't you see I wanted to drown!?"

The she-cat frowned at her, "What about your family, Featherpaw?"

Featherpaw froze, "My family doesn't care about me. My foster family has too much on their shoulders as it is. No one needs me."

That frown turned into a smile of understanding. A white tipped, light tan tail wrapped around her shoulders. The she-cat gently meowed, "You sure about that?"

The apprentice stared at her rescuer, not comprehending. Slowly the older she-cat guided the younger into the tree. She chose an easy path towards the Clan camp. Featherpaw flattened her ears. Why were they going there? That's where her tormentors lived. That's where she couldn't escape the memories. She didn't want to go back there. But the light tan she-cat never hesitated. Her tail continued to guide Featherpaw behind her. The apprentice could see a large dark brown spot on the she-cat's back with orange specks and patches on the sides. A black stripe ran along her spine inside the brown spot, from neck to tail base. Featherpaw frowned. She had never seen this she-cat around. How did she know Featherpaw's name.

Reaching the top of the hill overlooking camp, the she-cat stopped and sat down. She smiled at the bustling group below, "I think they care more than you know."

Featherpaw looked down towards camp. She gasped. Ravenclaw, her foster family's eldest son, and Sootpaw, a gray tom who was another foster kit, were talking worried with several cats. One gestured towards the woods outside of camp. The other flicked her tail towards the river. The look of horror on Ravenclaw's face made Featherpaw wince. He knew how emotional she could be. He was the one who comforted her at night when the memories haunted her. Meowing something to Sootpaw, the black tom raced for the camp entrance. Sootpaw turned and raced towards the den where their family slept.

The light tan she-cat rose to her paws and padded towards Ravenclaw. Featherpaw bounded after her. Now her heart was pounding her chest. The tom slid to a stop as he heard their approach. A smile of joy lit up his face as Featherpaw stepped into the open. He darted forward and started licking her vigorously.

"Are you alright? How badly are you hurt?" he asked, pressing his head into her's.

Featherpaw looked at him with wide eyes, "You…you were worried about me?"

"Of course! You're my sister," Ravenclaw meowed. His black tail wrapped around her shoulders, drawing Featherpaw against his chest. He turned his attention to the light tan she-cat, "Thank you, Dawnsky. Thank you for bringing her home safe."

A smile touched Dawnsky's mouth, "Any time, Ravenclaw."

She glanced to Featherpaw. The apprentice was looking at her with wide eyes. Gently she licked the apprentice between the ears. Turning, she padded away, towards her home. Sunfeather and Briartail would be wondering where she was. Both of her parents would be worried about her safety. A smile touched Dawnsky's lips as she spotted Eaglekit and Breezekit, her nephew and niece, playing outside the den. Blackstripe, her older sister, appeared from the den and smiled warmly. The light tan she-cat dipped her head. A purr made her look up to see Silvertail, her grandmother, sleeping peacefully on a branch in the sun.

A cry of joy made Dawnsky pause and look towards the center of camp. Sootpaw, Lilypaw (Ravenclaw's younger sister), and Bearpelt (oldest foster tom) hugging a wet Featherpaw. The she-cat was meowing that she was fine, just a little wet. Her adopted parents, Snakeclaw and Tawnyfur, raced over. Both were worried. Both nuzzled and sniffed over their daughter, trying to find where she had been hurt. Dawnsky smiled at the joy in Featherpaw's amber eyes. She thought no one cared about her, never realizing her family cared more than she knew.

Several days later, Featherpaw saw Dawnsky again. At her side were other cats. Jackalfoot and Lightheart, new warriors of the Clan, were playing tag. Autumnpaw was sitting next to Dawnsky, talking close to the light tan she-cat's ear. Slowly the apprentice padded closer to the group. Terror gripped her heart, making it pound. Those aqua green eyes turned to look at her. A smile lit up her face. That white tipped tail signaled her closer.

"Featherpaw! Come join us!" Autumnpaw called, seeing her fellow apprentice.

Jackalfoot and Lightheart paused to look at her. Then both smiled in welcome. Featherpaw smiled and bounded over. Jackalfoot was quick with a joke, making them all laugh. Lightheart licked a clump of Featherpaw's fur flat. Autumnpaw asked how Featherpaw's training was going, laughing about how she fell out of tree the other day. Dawnsky remained silent, watching everyone get along. She smiled at Featherpaw when apprentice glanced to her. The apprentice would never know how much joy filled her heart. Seeing the pain Featherpaw had been in reminded her all too well about her apprenticeship. Maybe now the apprentice could have a better life. Now her family knew how she felt. Now they striving to assure the apprentice of their love. Seeing Featherpaw laugh with her friends was a good sight. The apprentice was welcomed among them. No one was an outsider here. Life may one day separate them…

But Dawnsky would always pray for their happiness.

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 **I remember this day all too clearly. Such memories…**

 **Featherpaw (Featherleap): Me! I went through a lot in middle school. And yes, I actually tried to drown myself in a river not far from my foster family's house (who is now my actual family – though unfortunately Sootpaw was sent to another foster family). My friends said very mean and hurtful things to me. Depression was my biggest issue back then and their words hit a cord in me, causing me to snap. I'm sooooo grateful that Falachen found me that day.**

 **Dawnsky: Falachen! She knew my older brother (Ravenclaw in the story) as a classmate. They were working on a group project together so he had her number. Since I didn't come home after school, he called her and asked if she would keep an eye out for me. Falachen promised to do so and soon spotted my backpack beside the river. Racing to the bank, she saw me and didn't hesitate to toss down her stuff and dive in after me. Afterwards she called my brother and an ambulance.**

 **Jackalfoot and Lightheart: old friends of Falachen who have since moved schools or out of state. Falachen often talks about them, wondering where they are and how they're doing. I know she misses them dearly.**

 **Autumnpaw (Autumnleaf): a recent friend Falachen has made. The two have a love for American Sign Language and I often find them hanging out together. She's awesome and very welcoming. Both continue to be there if I ever need to confide in someone.**

 **That's the backstory! I've come a long way since that time. A long, long, long, long, long (keep spamming long for a while!) way. After reading this, I realized just how much Falachen is there for me.**

 **Let me tell you a secret: she cares about all of you as well! Every night she prays that her stories bring you guys happiness, encouragement, or a small sliver of enjoyment – even when she's sick herself!**

 **Angie out!**


End file.
